Vernetta Speaks: Should Parents Go Against Each Other When It Comes To Punishment?

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Let me be real with you, this article isn’t going to be as serious as you think but something that I personally need to vent about.

How many of you all have teenagers?

I have a 14 year old son in the 8th grade. He does OK in school BUT he is lazy as hell and he has a bad attitude. I could say he gets the attitude from his dad or I, I don’t know, don’t care, he just has an attitude problem.

Most of the time his attitude comes from not doing his chores and mom (me) fussing my ass off. I often feel like I’m alone when it comes to me hooping and hollering about him not doing his chores. While my blood pressure is going up, dad is normally nonchalant. Don’t get this twisted, dad does lay down the law when it comes to school or if my son totally gets out of line and TRIES to disrespect me but my issue is why does my blood pressure have to go to 158/100 before my son makes a move to do his chores?

Here’s my other issue. Dad is a Madden and 2K fanatic. Of course in these video games, you have the option to play online but Dad loves playing and bonding with his son. Here’s where the conflict comes in.

Chores are not done when they are suppose to be done. Dad wants son to play the video game with him. Dad either 1. Conveniently forgets son is on punishment.  I come through and they are both playing the game together or 2. Dad asks “If I promise “son” will complete his chores later, can he play a quick game with me?

In my mind I’m screaming “HELL NO”. Sometimes I do scream “HELL NO”. It irks me that I’m always the bad cop in parenting our teenage son. I must say, I am grateful I don’t have to search the streets and the projects to find my kids father, or post nasty messages on Facebook about him to catch his attention BUT I don’t want to do the good cop/bad cop thing when it comes to parenting. I want us to be on the same page. Like I stated, when it comes to school and disrespect, Dad has my son in check but this whole “If you don’t do your chores, all electronics are taken away for a week” is a hard punishment in my house because dad tries to come through and be Captain Save a Kid.

As a mom, am I overreacting? Is one day of a mistake with my son worth a whole week of no electronics? Should dad be trying to bail the kid out for bonding time? I need answers from moms, dads, aunts, uncles, whatever! Am I tripping? I need to know…

 

4 thoughts on “Vernetta Speaks: Should Parents Go Against Each Other When It Comes To Punishment?

      • vernettaspeaks says:

        I never looked at it the way you do. Now I understand a little bit more on why that time is important to you. I wish we could work that time around or after chore time, but there maybe a way we can compromise where your leadership and mine can come together.

        Like

  1. therealjaygreen says:

    I was a teenager and I didn’t have a father that took time with me or even tried to get to know what I liked. I want to keep that bond with my son to keep him close to his family instead of him taking interest in the streets. At the age of 14, you can be easily distracted with peer pressure. I’d rather bond with him by doing something we both enjoy and that way I can talk to him about life instead of him learning the wrong things about life from kids in the streets who aren’t fortunate to have a father or mother to teach them about life lessons.

    Liked by 1 person

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